Seeds and Roots/ Poison
a vile poison is released from your tooth as my flesh peels open giving you entry
the thick black tar engulfs my nerves until the soft pink underbelly can’t be seen
the cells rush to the infected area in an effort to alleviate the damage
to preserve
to save what’s left
the attempt is futile
in the span of a week my skeleton is the only recognizable feature
the inside down to the core are a viscus liquid
i stare in the mirror at a face i no longer recognize
at a body as withered as the inner world it holds
i believed her antidote would cure me
i believed it to be strong enough to remove the remnants of hate and doubt you left
i believed her words to wash over my tainted heart and bring back its life
only she told me she loved me
and i couldn’t believe her
only she told me i’m still myself
and i could no longer remember who that was
only she told me i was kind
and i called her a liar
only she can’t cure me
because your poison has no cure
i was bitten as a child
before my immune system could defend itself
my senses changed and my pupils shrunk
a resistance began to form
only the antibodies i produced are weak to the force you placed inside of me
on night nine i cursed my own name
on night ten i asked why he made me
on night eleven i didn’t care if i lived or died
on night twelve i feared the night before
on night thirteen my cheeks got hot, why
on night fourteen my blood was cold
on night fifteen my life. was no longer my own
sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
this is a lie
your words were poison
your words were an orange potion that you knew could kill
that was your intent i believe
whether conscious or not
i drank it, naively, i trusted you
why shouldn’t i
this potion transported your diseased seeds into the caverns of my heart and they grew
and they spread
until the garden that was once there was uninhabitable
an invasive species desecrating the land of green that once thrived
my bones are in tact but the seeds you left are slowly killing me
lay flowers in the ribs that protrude through my skin when my body returns to the dirt you made me from
to care for my serpent
it’s too easy to assign blame
for the poison you gave me i swallowed on my own accord
the seedlings you planted i watered to maturity
i am an accomplice to my own murder
it is nearly day 30. and the heart she once knew is gone. the one she helped turn into something she could love. replaced with the one you helped me create. a bulbous and pulsating mass of black. and as the roots burrow deeper into every cavity, i lay still. waiting for the roots to sprout from my ears and the air to leave my lungs one final time. so my pain may end and the heart that i once knew may break one final time.